...confessions of a theatre king

zombie future

2010-09-13T12:22:00.000-07:00

exist to exist, without any thoughts in their head
lingering and howling,
just survive, creatures devoid of hope or regret

they hunt, they eat, that's all they need to know
mind of base instincts,
look around, they are there, everywhere you go

the last sad pinnacle, of the evolution of man
greatest of creations?
by technology of science, or gods grand plan?

soon, zombies will fill us, and inherit our earth,
the only natural outcome;
to the complete deterioration, of our life's worth

Mad Men

2010-03-27T13:15:00.000-07:00

those mad men we locked up in solitary
pure white uniforms to parade them in
such savages screaming or mumbling
no freedom; they are not safe for others

some stare silently at the floor all day
some look blankly out the only window
some taste freedom with eyes closed
some refuse; and fight the good fight

all of them used be somebody someday
also special to others; loved and cared for
none seems to remember exactly when
they had crossed the point of no return

sanity driven out, bluntly replaced with
a blind rage, a loathing that fuels itself
these men burn, eternally, but in hiding
countless memories of eternal regrets

these men, they live deep within ourselves
the bad thoughts they whisper in our ears
we drown them with the voice of reason
thus grows, a new generation of mad men

choice

2010-03-23T13:05:00.000-07:00

and one and two and three and four
and then some...
and one and two and three and four
then some more...

she said it was for the better...
she also said she needed to
find things out
for herself
but then...

she said it was for the better...
she said it would be good
for the heart
and the soul
and yet...

because when its a matter of the heart
one must make the hardest of choices
but the options i got, they tore me apart
the principles that i had lived my life by
the love for her entangled with my soul
hiding behind morality, i made a choice

and one and two and three and four
and then some...
and one and two and three and four
then some more...

she said it was for the better
but i cant help hold on
to the last of them;
a faint hope
it cries

she said it was for the better
but i cant help but take
shelter in thoughts
of olden times
of... love

she said it was for the better, yes she did
yet she refused to let me out of her sight
its a complicated game, and i am so tired
of racing, to understand untold complains
but i have held on, not for what she said,
its what she refused to say; goodbye to me

goodnight angel

2009-07-28T09:39:00.000-07:00

goodnight angel

goodnight my dear sweet angel
was what the boy wanted to say
but couldn't muster up the courage

she had a smile, that kind of smile
kind that can make or break a heart
he was nervous, when they spoke

and then she suddenly took off
but he was quick to understand
that he had hurt his only angel

so he wrote her a simple song
and prayed it would please her
because he needs his angel
he needs his angel a lot more than she knows

doesn't go away

2009-07-17T23:12:00.000-07:00

doesn't go away
doesn't leave me
doesn't leave you
and we still don't know what to do...

and i am so lost
i am so scared
i am so slow
to realize that this only the beginning...

but when i know
when i ignore it
when it hides
nothing that can be touched is immortal

but it doesn't go away
doesn't leave me
doesn't want to
i know it will cause the end for me

through the windows

2008-09-24T10:36:00.000-07:00

dreamy, dreamy, so scared and excited, and we smiled...
dreamy dreamy...

teary teary, you lose yourself, and i hold on tight...
teary teary...

and the dreams we dreamt together will forever be a secret,
shameful words under the full moon that peeps through the window...

end of a fairy tale
wait to see the sun
this end of a life
that was just born

whisper whisper, we speak about our future together...
whisper whisper...

slowly slowly, we move, to hide from the moonlight...
slowly slowly...

for the last breath we breathe together would never be forgotten,
shameful words under the full moon that peeps through the window...

the end of our world
you wake up to see,
a vision from heaven
so lovely, so scary

the begining

2008-09-24T09:26:00.000-07:00

as we sit here silently and knowingly... waiting
the moment comes upon us knocking, asking
i realize this is it, the time will be never better
this moment right here, each second matter

we are face to face, i look right into your eyes
i watch them come alive and I'm mesmerized
i feel the weight of the dream i weaved for you
solemnly i promise myself i will make them true

and i promise I will love you till the end of time
then you smiled and there was tear in your eye
i rub them away, landing a kiss your forehead
you close your eyes, scared, breath withheld

beautiful cries dance and echo under moonlight
a little butterfly's wings do flutter, it takes flight
flowers black n white take to the wind and fly
some dreams just meant to combine two lives

epiphany

2008-09-05T13:27:00.000-07:00

when i see the stars
my soul is lifted from the earth

i see the boundaries
and the eternal rainbows shine

look into my eyes next
see the souls that try to escape

life's a dream and i wake up
then i see a maiden mad in trust

and i scream and cry
the birth of a forbidden thought

the cries of a new age
echo's through heaven and earth

a long a silent story
tells me the end comes before

a lot of thoughts frenzy
and i must sit back and stare

i run towards the screams
i find myself looking at me
amused at my own demise
i see myself breathe and try to live

i run towards the pleasure
of seeing another survivor
i find this wonderful person
not for me, but only my eyes can see

and i walk slowly, forward
to a different kind of angel
and i see the stars in her eyes
and i realize that's where she belongs

love-intense-feeling

2008-08-19T11:40:00.000-07:00

in my own twilight
worlds end tonight
world of tomorrow, not for the callow

have i done it?
is it truly over?
a lifetime of hope, suddenly complete

hold me down
i cant breathe
a love intense feelings what i need

the wedding singer

2008-08-12T08:36:00.000-07:00

hustling and bustling, children running wild
elders are serious, talking, sneering, quietly
bridesmaids smiling, all teasing the princess
while guys whispering which ones prettiest

and here are a few of us, closest to the heart
falling gently back just gossiping and waiting
for the bride to appear, a vision to remember
and I'm pacing, whats taking so long i wonder

she walks in; so much more than expectation
the most amazing woman, lucky who got her
and i take the stage; i congratulate the couple
and i play the song; most beautiful yet subtle

the kids, the old women all trying to dance;
occasional rolls of laughter among audience
i keep a steady voice, but it waivers a second
my first gig, and i pray that i don't get tensed

after the dancing, and the food and the drink
the couple to leave, a sad emotional goodbye
a tears from the family, tears from the heart
and thus she left, a new life; brand new start

we too said goodbye, we walk away, just us,
her closest friends we hope and pray for her
i light up, and my friend, she just had to ask
are you ok? i winced... i cant forget my past

lost prayers

2008-08-09T11:32:00.000-07:00

and could i please live, in a big house,
backyard pools for the hot afternoons
just like the ones Anne's parents have
oh ma! its the size of our living room!

and could i please have many a friend,
we would live in a delightful little town
where all the kids and all their family's
are free to play or run or dance around

and could i please talk to that person
that person everyone has except me
and those girls are always whispering
ma weren't you good? now i am lonely

and could i maybe ask a little question;
surely you know all our secrets 'n fears
and if you did, could you maybe tell me
the reason behind ma's secretive tears

and could i be told a little bedtime story
because today, i don't think ma will do
odd, i can't seem to find her anywhere
could you tell her if she's visiting You?

without a thought

2008-08-07T01:51:00.000-07:00

without a thought, i would quit smoking
it would still not be enough i'm thinking
without a thought i'll move out my stuff
but i think it still would not be enough...

ask for anything your heart could desire
even if its to make an angel out of a liar
but there is one thing i could never do
sorry but i could never stop loving you

without a thought, i'll always remember;
the day we vowed to be together forever
without a thought, i would quit my work,
if you wanted more time to love you more

when you are gone, i can't even breath...
you are my center, the one to define me
a single bed, where you are quietly lying
i'll wait here and pretend i wasn't crying

i hold your hand and you hold on me too
you look into my eyes but i gotta refuse
for it takes a while for me to understand
its the time the lord took you back again

last goodbye, i don't know what to say
you smile a tear i realize to my dismay
the time is here, for everyone to know
for now and forever "we" are no more

Gods and butterflies

2008-04-21T12:17:00.000-07:00

this garden of earth never saw the light of day
only true Gods among us can change and stay
the endless butterflies that never show desire
will it be enough to make an angel out of a liar

as we keep losing the little love that we grow
please teach me on the thoughts of tomorrow
chaos will reign free and jealousy will awaken
but flaming butterflies will never go to heaven
a continuous play of birth debt and then sold
the whims of an immaculate lord goes untold

amazing that we are, and the lives that we take
the right we lack is all that matters to this date
waiting and watching, the little butterflies dance
loss of ideals, and principle thoughts of romance

the liar's song

2008-03-14T11:10:00.000-07:00

sitting quietly, there was a young man, just barely listening
frozen still... yet only his answer could crush their dream

still shocked he sat, and with two very empty beady eyes,
he looks at everyone; without tears without pitiful cries,
he realizes somethings are just more important than him
he gets up to see, the vision so lovely and yet forbidden
as he turns away; and somehow is able to contain his tears,
a single fleeting moment and gone were the vision of years
for a choice so hard to make, he learned never to look again,
a complete loss of thoughts, coward to himself? among men.

he walked out, drawing strength upon the name of the lord
for the sake of love, friendship, and other such ironic words...

to tell him with

2008-02-20T11:17:00.000-08:00

to tell him with

the nights reminds me of that story everyday
about that girl who was so lost and dismayed
but try as she might, she just could not stop
her heart; her tears or such terrible thoughts

she got up, and she ran, ran like never before
to be on time but these twisted endless roads
as she undergoes the worst moment of her life
she sincerely hopes everything will be all right

and her legs feel weak; she just refuses to stop
her mind is flooded with only a single thought
and she keeps praying, for Him to watch over
another ordinary woman weeps for His favor

she sees him now, her eyes now screaming blue
and she just can't seem to figure out what to do,
her head's still spinning; she tries to understand
how selfless a pride could drive the heart of man

and as he watches silently, lying motionless there
hear an imaginary cry? no its her, so lost in tears
this gift for her... there's so much he had left to do
its the tongue you used to tell him with; i love you

monsoon love

2008-01-27T11:46:00.000-08:00

monsoon love

so quietly... the light around us dances; just carelessly
bringing us back, to ourselves, but so very needlessly
for we are lost; only our intentions could give us away
do you believe we had dreamed through a whole day?
and as our dreams flutter again, and our hopes do fly
thus i fall back to heaven; "oh..." what a delightful cry

i promise, mischievous one, today will not be the end
your thoughtless actions; you'll never have to defend

the mist that covers your body, hides secrets for you
you still try to be innocent, but your hands hold true
'shhhh..."lets not see, lets not hear, and lets not move
i fear for this solitude of lovers we mustn't risk to lose
do you realize? it's monsoon; and we lie here dreaming
so blissfully lost, so calm so silent, and it's still raining...

mend your broken heart

2008-01-09T06:12:00.000-08:00

after all that you had lost, all that you had to give,
are you haunted by voices that whisper you to live
do you have enough faith or you'll never be freed
from the love that binds you to this solitary need

if you would stop waiting on your ideals to survive
you'll be be amazed how swiftly the heart divides
because love that is born of time could never fail
your fate will one day will tell a memorable tale

days of the past that leave love trailing behind
all of that truly defines us... all those lost times
they speak of a soul that left nothing but a scar
will love be enough to mend your broken heart?

after a lifetime of wandering, you just might find
another broken soul, left bitter, yet still so kind
a test of control, and you will find your true self
for a touch of hope that you could never have felt

but when you close your eyes and get lost for a sec
world stops turning as someone kisses your neck
and yet no one's there when you look back to see
love can't beat faith, not even for an endless plea

and... life goes on, with or without your consent
its an unfair game and you will be always tempt
by an offer that's almost as painful as its reward
lose all hope...
and you can finally mend your broken heart...

will you be scared and run away?

2007-12-16T09:20:00.000-08:00

dedicated to the memory of Mufrad bhai; i didnt know you that well, but you have just reminded us we are human still...

p.s. Mufrad bhai played the central role of the school play: pied piper of hamelin back when i was in grade 3, i was part of that play and thats actually how i know him...

as he lived to dream, and died at fight
the worlds stopped as he lost his right
but the king of dreams has kept his word
a painless journey as the Lord foretold

dreams of life that scream and cry
gives us hope to fight for a single smile
all the world's united and held their breath
will you still be scared, and run away?

but he was the pied of piper of hamelin
nothing could stop his will to dream
everyday that he'd suffered this way
was a cry of faith as a thousand prayed

the light that shines in the darkest skies
is enough to save you from the worlds demise
and when the gate of heavens will open for you
will you still be scared, and run away?

from the diary of a trooper

2007-12-12T05:15:00.000-08:00

countless bodies that we send back home
eternally safe from our impending doom
tormented souls and lost companions
have lost it all in this battle of demons

we wage a war in the name of liberty
for peace for glory? that's just for history
as i step into the fields of bombs and mines
i hope my child gets to live in a better time

the tears you cried as you prayed at home
yet you know that i am as good as gone
deny yourself the urge to get up and look
I'll be home when you hear the 21gun salute

satisfaction of hunting

2007-11-29T11:26:00.000-08:00

every breath every thought every day i see the fear
that drives the needs of them lesser human beings
of all the little things i could live without
things i don't want and but theres no choice here...

we do not live in a world we can help...
we live in a world we can't live without
we need more than what we can get
and thus we prosper and grow... survivors instinct...

i love you i want you and i will do so always
but how much of love will survive even ten years?
and yet we always try to be all that we ever wanted to be
so that time can have a greater satisfaction hunting us...

the perfect violation

2007-11-28T02:05:00.000-08:00

humans that we are humans who we protect
is it humane to imagine, to give life to our desires
to imagine whats beneath, that thin fabric of privacy
is it so wrong to listen to the our instincts?

as we tread upon this beautiful world
we avoid the dark and chase the lights that blind us
no color no emotion no idea why it feels so wrong
or do we dare to walk on the other side?
the side where words have no value...
the side where silence is preferred
the side where only our feelings can guide us
and show us that restriction is just word we invented...

let us all take a walk... because
i need to know i need to experience
and i need to learn and i need to feel
all the things we are not suppose to think of
those are the things that hold us back
but things that stop us from imagining
will only blind us till we cant see anymore

after all the things i said and all the things i did
i still cannot think or act as if i am truly free
free to dream free to imagine free to understand
and reap the rewards of the perfect violation...

alien nation

2007-11-24T11:42:00.000-08:00

to be taken lightly, till we cannot breathe,
a symptom of what, one might ask,
and one might answer, just wait my friend,
you'll know when you have fallen

a different feeling, to love and to prove,
surges through us... as we give in,
infamy and hate will surely follow,
yet we forget that, in the ecstasy that is the loss

all the little dreams we sacrifice or crush
will they ever come back to haunt us?
mountains to be destroyed and a way to be created
instincts that guide us know no barriers...

enlightened we are, cold we are never,
the humane quality that drives us,
a fairy tale we want, a damned life we refuse,
God is with us, as we start anew...

song of life

2007-11-07T07:53:00.000-08:00

as i played this song that i learned not so long ago
i tripped my fingers and there was this messy note
i listened to it carefully and realized to my surprise
this note that i had played was just like my own life

it didnt belong to any song it just came out of the blue
then i realised to my surprise that had its very own tune

a wandering note it fly's off into the night
a wandering note it fly's off into the night

as i carry this guitar and follow only the endless streets
and i realise no matter how far i go i 'll never truly be free
the note born off an accident was enough to make it known
if i traveled too far i would surely forget the way back home

i guess i have failed to understand the language love speaks
forlorn dreams and forgotten words and by mischievous tricks

a wandering note it fly's off into the night
a wandering note it fly's off into the night

i have faith and i have a home and as i am with her now
i feel this world to be lot more meaningful and lot less loud
i still have my old guitar and when i play songs of the past
i am truly grateful my most important things hadn't been lost

derailed

2007-11-02T08:24:00.000-07:00

derailed... i have been flying in the dark...
derailed...i have dreaming of the light...
derailed...i have been living in a nutshell...
derailed...i have got no other choice...

i need to know... dear lord... what is your wish...
i need to feel... the need to live... is this your choice...
i have asked and i have begged... and i get no answer...
will i take this as a sign... will i be reborn?

its all in my head... the dreams that keep me living...
i must take a decision... and learn to love...myself and others...
to live... for another human being... till the end...
i must learn... to be humane again...i must...

the freezing wind...shatters my thoughts... brings the lights into focus...
i feel dreamy...i cant see clearly... this light from far...
rushing past me...these inanimate objects... i forget to blink...
this rush...this feeling...its making me ecstatic...

i know now! i understand now! i know how it feels!
this is what i needed...after a lifetime of fooling around...
i can see the light the light getting brighter...the end of this tunnel is near...
but i see two lights? is this a sign? do i choose?

the light rushes towards me and i get sucked below it... is this my awakening?
the dream... the noise...the wish... has my prayer been answered?
i feel nothing now... i feel lost...i have gone under the bright lights...
is this rebirth? i let my dreams take over my body...as i slip away...

tears in the rain

2007-10-19T02:05:00.000-07:00

mirrors can only reflect what the eyes can see...
a strange power is at work here
and you are to wait until it calls your name
a power that can see your tears in the rain

love in our eyes, oh pretty eyes, so pretty we are told,
the new dreams are born every night, without any reason...
so why do dreams of perfect rapture must die as foretold?
won't anyone ever see their tears in the rain?

blessed be those who have so much, but don't be flattered,
such beauty is why no one shall ever care to look for more in you,
your are to remain an object of worship,
your usefulness limited to that of a paperweight.

blessed be those who have so much, but don't be fooled,
such wealth is why no one shall ever care to look for more in you,
you are to be sought after like a diamond in a coalmine,
your feelings taken into consideration only because it must be...

i too, will not love an angel with broken wings,
a coward in the true sense of the word,
humane, in the wrong sense of the word,
like the moon that lights up the darkest corners of the earth, together forever, almost...
but i at least understand those people out there,
because i belong with them;
with those who hide their tears in the rain...

for all eternity

2007-10-15T12:59:00.000-07:00

for those that have lost their will, and for those who have found it...
to dream is to lie, a neccesary choice made because you need to feel,
and to believe in things beyond relevence and imaginary,
beyond purpose and beyond choices that make you so angry...

some dreams remain that way, thats their beauty...
timeless and constant, i'll believe in what gets me through the day,
dont hold on too tight, or they'll shatter into tiny pieces...
so close, i can feel the breath on my shoulders...nah, i don't need it...

i get scared so easily... i just close my eyes and dream crazy dreams
dreams that mock my memories, mock me of my will...
you gave away... you fell for it...
God... why does this lazy night refuse to end...

through the distance, a cloud of tears rain down...
and two people walk to their separate destinies,
i watch till a distance where want and will and desire loses all meaning...
and leaves you behind with one last goodbye...

i live for each day... and watch it pass by,
i live to wait... but you were never coming,
i live to dream... and i am happy to say,
i'll live for others... and hold on till the end of my day...

after love

2007-10-04T11:02:00.000-07:00

i know, its going to be morning soon,
i know, we must part...
all our responsibilities, all our duties,
all the screaming voices of our families...

taunt us to be adults...

did we lose our freedom when we grew up?
i look at your body wrapped around mine,
its hard to see us as two separate beings...
i love your smell thats all over me,
its so tempting not to wake you up and...
so i gently tilt my head, and plant one on your cheek,
you slowly shuffle your feet, as if you already know,
how much i love you, and how much i want more...
who can bear the thought of departure,
and yet we have to go through this so often;
we need to wake the kids, and then make breakfast for all...

to forget a dream

2007-09-17T09:23:00.000-07:00

do you fear your demons won't ever let you go?
do you dream of the love that just wants nothing more?
Do you get angry when you realise you were happy with a lie?
do you fight with yourself about who's fault it was to try?

its not right to have lost all that you held sacred
its not right because its not your fault
yet what can you do... what can you think of...
that would return, to its rightful owner,
all the memories when you couldn't help but smile...

all i have, are these crazy dreams
dreams of a foreign truth,
dreams of endless tranquility,
it is these dreams that keep me sane
and yet, it is them who will be the end of me...

and if my words make you smile, then you should know,
beneath these ordinary brown eyes, lies the requim for hope,
hope that is born out of regret and fear,
wanting nothing more but the very best for you,
and thus stabbing, the only feeling i hold true...

lost...

2007-07-22T01:00:00.000-07:00

a strange kind of suffocation
i can't see, can't breathe
all that's there is to feel
its the shame thats tingling on my skin
its dark and its quite
nothing but breathless whispers heard in the dark
a smile thats born out of fear and love
the thought that crosses the heart
everything thats at stake
a strange silence that needs no language
don't know whats next cause the deed is done
we stay...drifting in and out...
i feel complete...i feel given...i feel loved
how far will i go...
trust and faith, responsiblity and desire...
i lost and i won
this feeling is priceless
do we run...do we hide...do we lose?
what if its a dream and what if its the end?
no love; i don't care if i am crushing you...
i am not risking my dream...

The Ocean, and Forbidden Love

2007-07-22T00:58:00.000-07:00

part 1

the ocean that fills our worlds
is as deep and desirable as the stars
they come from a million sources
life and death fills her history
where dreams go after a lifetime of truth

a place where love and lust carry no meaning
all the while the world survives
destined for greatness she flows
no one to match the strentgh of her tides
lets not forget, there can only be one eternity

everytime i close my eyes i deliver myself to this world
all the while knowing there can never be another one
and as the cycle continues people come and go
but her spririt remains untouched and unnoticed
but there can be no doubts, there can be no fears

there can be no love no dreams no tears
they will alls be lost in the stars
sorry but nothing matches such pride and i fear;
lost that i am in every which way
the only companion of time, an honor and a curse

is there really a single consciousness that connects all of us
will there be death in these parts of the heart?
i didn't care and i don't wanna know
i am the guy who loves to stare at the sun till my eyes go blind
would i be enough to survive the future?

part 2

will you open your heart to a lonely wanderer
will you feed him his lifes strength
will you wash away his sins
will you carry him all the way to the place you burried your love?

but he's only a mortal, how can you fall in love with him,
him who will leave you soon, no one can stop death
not even the infinite depths of your heart can save him,
but you fell in love; and you close your eyes and smile...

storms fill the oceans, water that takes life,
mindless anger that blinds you, for he has departed...
and in that tiny instant you realise what a fool you have been...
and thus she flows...
the only true companion of the skies...

the love song

2006-12-24T08:10:00.000-08:00

the love song

if you had the choice to be a song which song would you be?
would you be hard rock or just a soft melody?
if you had the choice to be a tree what tree would you be?
would you be a tall and slim oak or a tasty blueberry?
if had the choice to be anywhere where would you rather be?
would you be out travelling the world or sitting right here beside me?

if you had a choice to love me far more than necessary,
would you do it or just let me be?

if you had the choice to be a dream which dream would you be?
would you be sweet dreams to please or nightmares to scare me?
if you had the choice to be an animal what animal would you be?
would you be the wild cat or the innocent sheep?
if you had the choice to be rain where would you fall?
would you fall alone and far, or fall on me and give me a cold?

if you had the choice to love me far more than necessary,
would you do it or just let me be?

i'll give

2006-11-17T09:09:00.000-08:00

i'll give and i'll give and i'll give and i'll hope...
that i have not given enough to be remembered...
i'll support you always, i'll hold your faith,
i'll walk you through all the hard times you face...
but i fear...we might have a hard time parting ways...
i am just a guardian, with the duty for only days,
maybe i should have hidden more...can't you see,
you are strong enough to handle a separation...not me.

untouchable

2006-11-17T08:48:00.000-08:00

untouchable

it feels so good as i stare deep into your eyes
for the moment, i forget how impossible it is...
i forget the storm that rages in my heart
i forget the pain you would feel to lose a friend...
i forget all, and then i realise how lost i am,
i realise how inappropriate i look beside you...
i realise why you look so good the way you do...
because you are so untouchable...

Things that I hate about you

2006-10-31T09:41:00.000-08:00

Who's to know

2006-10-24T10:46:00.000-07:00

Afterthought

2006-10-20T11:14:00.000-07:00

Do you have a minute?

2006-10-20T11:00:00.000-07:00

Hope

2006-10-20T09:56:00.000-07:00

Bit by bit

2006-09-23T03:23:00.000-07:00

On: Love

2006-09-22T10:44:00.000-07:00

to my grandfather...i am sorry...

2006-05-12T02:50:00.000-07:00

On Aging

by Maya Angelou

When you see me sitting quietly,
like a sack left on the shelf,
Don't think I need your chattering.
I'm listening to myself.
Hold! Stop! Don't pity me!
Hold! Stop your sympathy!
Understanding if you got it,
Otherwise I'll do without it!

When my bones are stiff and aching
And my feet won't climb the stair,
I will only ask one favor:
Don't bring me no rocking chair.

When you see me walking, stumbling,
Don't study and get it wrong.
'Cause tired don't mean lazy
And every goodbye ain't gone.
I'm the same person I was back then,
A little less hair, a little less chin,
A lot less lungs and much less wind.
But ain't I lucky I can still breathe in.

I dedicate the following poem to the memory of my dear grandfather who's only remembrance I have is that of a wrinkled face that lit up every time we met. Hell, I don't even remember his
name or when he died. Heres a poem I found recently among my childhood belongings, that I had written for him when he had died...

too late to care

Only a week ago, there was a man still alive
he never complained for anything in his life
I guess people like him must always go first
I don't want him back, his spark was long lost
Whenever I visited him (which I hardly did)
His face would lit up, and far from i would sit,
Mumble a riddle with twinkling eyes; and wait
But I hardly ever understood a word he said
So I give a weak smile, to his dissapointment,
he smiles back, to cover my embarrassment

Now that he is gone I miss him
I wish I was a lot more caring,
After he died, I held his hand,
it felt warm, his eyes still open
"When I was alive, where were you then?"
That is the reality, who could ever know,
tomorrow you or I might be here no more.